Wedding Woes

Bibik

I have been having problems with my fiance. We have been engaged for more than 2 years and now our relationship are on its end. The story is like this;

My fiance, lets call him F, sms me saying he wants a time off for a month because he is not prepared for the wedding. I oblige, since we are already on the rocks anyway. But a month has pass and eventually came the 3rd month, I smell something fishy. And I was right.

HE HAD AN AFFAIR WITH SOMEONE OLDER THAN HIM!!!

We were supposed to get married late this year when this happens. He really change. From a geek to a rebellious man. And mind you, he is 25 but he's acting like he is 15. Dye his hair, pierce here, waste his time hanging out under the block. He wasn't like this before.

And to think his cousin was the one who introduce him to the old lady. I am so pissed right now. Seriously. He told the lady he had broke off with me!!!!!!!!

And now when the cat is out of the bag, he begged me to stay. And the funny thing is he loves 2 women. How can that be?

Immediately I took some time off and call off the marriage. He cries and begs for me to stay. But I just couldn't. And for the first time, I did not cry when I called it off.

So Bibik, tell me did I do the right thing?

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Aunty Bibik - Well babe, when you said you didn't cry only shows one thing. You have been hurt deeply to even think of crying. Men, they are not enough of 1 chick, and when he realise what he has lost, he came to his senses. But I want to ask you, if you take him back, will you be a ready to accept his past? Will you be able to take it if he do it again? Its not so easy to change overnight honey. People use to say, 'Think with your heart, not with your brain' but this is no easy decision.

I suggest you really take some time off and decide what you want in your future. Have a good heart to heart talk with him. Ask him what lead to his betrayal. Sometimes we need to ask ourselves what lies in us(women) that turned him away.

If by now you have decide to leave him, make sure you are not reminded of the past. Move on, get a life, go out with friends and avoid being alone and listening to emotional songs. That wiill only worsen the heart ache.

But if you decide to stay with him, make new compromisation, don't rake up the past. Support him mentally and physically. Men are weak. Don't rush in to marriage yet although you guys have engaged. Take time to get to know each other more. Involve in activities that strengthen your bonding.

In any case, both decisions requires risks. That's what relationship is all about.

Just remember babe, that no one can make you change your mind. Only you. Its your call now.